Friday, June 30, 2006

Sniglets: Words that should appear in dictionaries, but don't.

For example:
Sarchasm: n. The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

More Cat Haikus

The food in my bowl
is old, and more to the point
contains no tuna.

Cat goes in bathroom.
Drags out feminine products.
Guests are horrified.

Tabby attitude.
So aloof and so wily.
Taste like baked chicken.

So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankle's closer.

There's no dignity
in being sick - which is why
I don't tell you where.

Seeking solitude
I am locked in the closet.
For once I need you.

Tiny can, dumped in
plastic bowl. Presentation,
one star; service: none.

Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backwards:
this pillow's taken.

Your mouth is moving;
up and down, emitting noise.
I've lost interest.

The dog wags his tail,
seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.

My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?

My affection is
conditional. Don't stand up;
it's your lap I love.

So you call this thing
your "cat carrier." I call
these my "blades of death."

Toy mice, dancing yarn
meowing sounds. I'm convinced:
you're an idiot.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Bacteria and diseases as cute plushies!

Look how cute ulcers are with their little dreadlocks:


Sunday, June 25, 2006

Conan O'Brian's Hair Will Beat Your Sorry Ass

The World Is MINE! by Demonac
You will conquer:the Entire World, but most of it is devastated in the process.
Your title will be:High Priest/Priestess
You will succeed by:Threatening to Nuke them.
Your Enforcers will be:Conan O'Brian's hair.
Your first act as ruler:Hire a body double (or twenty).
(What happened after)Try "The World Was Yours! What Happened?" MEME to find out!
Quiz created with MemeGen!


The World Was Yours! What Happened??? by Demonac
Abused your power byEating your subjects
UntilScully and Mulder
...Crushed you in single combat with their Dragon Punch move.
And adding insult to injuryYour Secret Escape Tunnels were being used as a "make-out" spot by high school kids, who blocked your escape.
But now, after all that, you arestanding in front of the Capitol buildings with a placard, protesting in favor of Globalization.
(How did you conquer?)Try "The World Is MINE!" MEME to find out!
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Friday, June 23, 2006

Candybar Doll Maker - so very addicting!

Here's me:

I made myself a boyfriend:

An angel:

Rainbow Girls:

Thursday, June 22, 2006

You Knit What?? - Fugly knitting. I don't know anything about knitting, but ugly sweaters are universal.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

Your Political Profile:
Overall: 35% Conservative, 65% Liberal
Social Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal
Personal Responsibility: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal
Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal
Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal
Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

What Places In The World Match Your Personality?

Your personality type is RCOEN
You are reserved, calm, organized, egocentric, and non-intellectual, and may prefer a city which matches those traits.

The largest representation of your personality type can be found in the these U.S. cities: W. Palm Beach, Harrisburg, Austin, Raleigh/Durham, Albuquerque/Santa Fe, Salt Lake City, San Diego, Norfolk, Columbus, Los Angeles Area, Charlotte and these international countries/regions Bulgaria, Caribbean, China, Middle East, Russia, Hungary, Brazil, Finland, Belgium, Taiwan, Spain, Slovenia, Indonesia, Croatia, Guam, Thailand

What Places In The World Match Your Personality?
City Reviews at

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Hello, I'm Dallas Leathershock. Who Are You?


1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

a = Fantasia
b = Chesty
c = Starr
d = Diamond
e = Montana
f = Angel
g = Sugar
h = Mimi
i = Lola
j =Kitty
k = Roxie
l = Dallas
m = Princess
n = Heidi
o = Bambi
p = Bunny
q = Brandy
r = Sugar
s = Candy
t = Raquelle
u = Sapphire
v = Cinnamon
w = Blaze
x = Trixie
y = Isis
z = Jade

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = Leather
b = Dream
c = Sunny
d = Deep
e = Heaven
f = Tight
g = Shimmer
h = Velvet
i = Lusty
j = Harley
k = Passion
l = Dazzle
m = Dixon
n = Spank
o = Glitter
p = Razor
q = Meadow
r = Glitz
s = Sparkle
t = Sweet
u = Silver
v = Tickle
w = Cherry
x = Hard
y = Night
z = Amber

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = hooter
b = horn
c = tower
d = fire
e = thighs
f = hips
g = side
h = jugs
i = shock
j = cocker
k = brook
l = tush
m = sizzle
n = ridge
o = kiss
p = bomb
q = cream
r = thong
s = heat
t = whip
u = cheeks
v = rock
w = hiney
x = button
y = lick
z = juice

Friday, June 16, 2006

I saw this on another blog and thought it was a fun idea. Here is the list of the top ten movie characters I'd like to get groovy with. They are not necessarily my favorite characters, for example, Dory from Finding Nemo is one of my all time favorite characters, but I'm not attracted to animated fishes (I'm not Troy McClure, yo).

So, here's the list,


Jen Yu (Ziyi Zhang) from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Ziyi Zhang is stunningly beautiful. The costumes, make-up and the way she moved made her seem like a delicate doll, but then she is revealed as this kick ass warrior. Wow!


Henry Gondorff and Johnny Hooker (Paul Newman and Robert Redford) from The Sting

It's not cheating to count both of them as one because they work as a team. I don't have any idea about what was going on in that movie, but those two looked good doing whatever it was they were doing.


Catcher Block (Ewan Mcgregor) from Down With Love

I love the swinging sixties atmosphere and Ewan's goofy southern accent


Chris Adams (Yul Brynner) from The Magnificent Seven

Usually, I think men look silly in cowboy hats, but Yul rocks in that hat! And his deep voice...And those tight jeans...


Velma Kelly (Catherine Zeta-Jones) from Chicago

I think Catherine Zeta-Jones in the most beautiful woman alive. She looked incredible and totally stole the show.


Legolas (Orlando Bloom) from The Lord of the Rings

Oh Elfboy, you're so pretty, with your pretty blond hair and your pretty prettiness.


Rhett Butler (Clark Gable) from Gone With the Wind

Rhett, you scoundrel. Scarlett just didn't appreciate what she had. I would appreciate you real good.


Westley (Cary Elwes) from The Princess Bride

He is the sort of man I want to marry. Pretty, witty, British, good with his sword...


Christian (Ewan McGregor) from Moulin Rouge!

Ewan was absolutely adorable in this movie. I wanted to take Christian home so badly. I want my very own love-sick poet!



Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) from Raiders of the Lost Ark

I knew exactly what character would be on top of the list. I don't know which would be better: to be Indiana Jones or to do Indiana Jones. He is just so very, very cool.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

The Where The Hell Are My Pants? Test

Somewhere over there
Congratulations! We are 63% sure we know where your pants are!
While you were having fun last night you lost your pants, but you know where you left them. All you have to do is go pick them up.

This test tracked 1 variable. How the score compared to the other people's:

Higher than 49% on memory

Link: The Where the Hell Are my Pants Test written by thirteenthmonth on Ok Cupid

Monday, June 12, 2006

The Editing Room - Funny movie reviews in script format.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Internet Classic: Badger Badger Badger

Badger Badger Badger - Argh! A snake!

and a Harry Potter parody:

Potter Potter Potter - Argh! A Snape!

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Improbable Research - Feline Reactions to Bearded Men

Friday, June 9, 2006

The Simpsonmaker - turn yourself into a character from The Simpsons


Thursday, June 8, 2006

How Abnormal Are You?

You Are 36% Abnormal

You are at low risk for being a psychopath. It is unlikely that you have no soul.

You are at low risk for having a borderline personality. It is unlikely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at medium risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is somewhat likely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at high risk for having a social phobia. It is very likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

Tuesday, June 6, 2006

Search Me - A list of strange terms entered in a search engine

And now my list of strange searches that have brought people to my blog:

"jake gyllenhaal" - Ok, that's not strange at all, but it is the most common search I get. I think I may have mentioned Jake Gyllenhaal once, but everyday I get someone looking for "jake gyllenhall shirtless" or "jake gyllenhall picture." This post will probably bring in more people looking for something that is not available here. Sorry, but Jake Gyllenhall is not here hot, naked, or nude. (heeheehee).

"christmas titties" - We know what this person wants to unwrap under the Christmas tree!

"george clooney spinal fluid" - Eww...unless they are going to use the spinal fluid to make George Clooney clones. I'm all for that!

"pissing in petticoats" - That is the strangest fetish ever

Monday, June 5, 2006

Ten Top Trivia Tips about LilyFair!

  1. The Australian billygoat plum contains a hundred times more Vitamin C than LilyFair.
  2. LilyFair has enough fat to produce 32 bars of soap.
  3. The pharoahs of ancient Egypt wore garments made with thin threads of beaten LilyFair.
  4. LilyFair can't sweat!
  5. LilyFair was invented in China in the eleventh century, but was only used for fireworks, never for weapons.
  6. The smelly fluid secreted by skunks is colloquially known as LilyFair.
  7. LilyFair can drink over 25 gallons of water at a time.
  8. Dolphins sleep at night just below the surface of LilyFair, and frequently rise to the surface for air.
  9. LilyFair can usually be found in nests built in the webs of large spiders.
  10. It is impossible to fold LilyFair more than seven times!
I am interested in - do tell me about

Sunday, June 4, 2006

Swank Signs - strange street signs from around the world

Saturday, June 3, 2006

The Grimoire of Questionable Spells - Generate some odd magical spells

My spells:

Alchemical Torus of Flatulence - Don't do this spell when you are in an elevator with your intended victim
Astral Ceremony of Arrogance
Cabalistic Zone of Halitosis
Call Dentist
Dominate Bacon Entity
Globe of Balsa
Grand Aura of Bile
Heavenly Evocation of the Pornography Angel - I worship the Pornograhy Angel
Irritate Panhandlers
Necromantic Assault of Foot Odor
Protection from Goths - I could have used this spell in high school
Sphere of Sinus Drainage

Friday, June 2, 2006

Animal quiz

You're a Boa Constrictor!

You're that person who is always offering massages to people and you
spend a lot of time training yourself to get better at giving them. Sometimes,
however, you make people just a little nervous with how close you're getting to
their neck. But you can usually knead them right back into a false sense of
security, er, I mean into feeling comfortable. Your mouth seems to be capable of
opening wider than anyone else's. You've sometimes wondered what it would be like
to be made out of feathers.

Take the Animal Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Thursday, June 1, 2006

Regret The Error - reports corrections from newspapers and other media. Very funny at times