Friday, April 29, 2005

Falling underwear

The Art of Art Frahm

Or, the effects of celery on loose elastic. Art Frahm was a curious, second-rate pin-up artist; his work would probably be forgotten had he notpainted a curious series of works in which women's underwear falls down in public. Warning: no nudity here, drat the luck

From the best website ever The Institute of Offical Cheer

Like the author of the site I would say that underwear completely falling off a person is impossible, but recently I had an experience of almost falling underwear. When puting on a some underwear rather roughly one morning, I caused a small tear near the waistband. As the day wore on the small tear kept getting bigger and bigger. By the time I got home from school my underwear were completely torn from the waistband and the elastic around my legs were the only thing keeping my underwear on my body.

lol, but don't stand on corners waitting for pretty girls' underwear to just completely fall off.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

things are screwy at amazon

$1,500 for a pdf file

You too can be abstinet and have a fulfulling sex life!


After letting go, make a fist and firmly rub your wrist and forearm up and down between her legs, applying only as much pressure as she gives in return. If, on the other hand, she runs away screaming, we suggest you immediately do the same.

Simply continue to rub, squeeze and fondle your faith partner through his jeans until he promises to marry you. It's that easy!

Pope Toast

Toast with the face of Pope Benedict XVI

boy or girl?

Your Brain is 33.33% Female, 66.67% Male

You have a total boy brain

Logical and detailed, you tend to look at the facts

And while your emotions do sway you sometimes...

You never like to get feelings too involved

ligustic thingamy

Your Linguistic Profile:

75% General American English

10% Dixie

10% Yankee

5% Upper Midwestern

0% Midwestern

Monday, April 18, 2005

Things Skippy Can't Do

There are lots of things Skippy can't do

geek foo

Are You Getting Some?

You have a


chance of getting some.

Chances are slim. It's going to take a lot of work but there is always that remote chance. Even a loser like you can get some every couple years.

Are You Getting Some?

Fortune Cookie:

You are the center of every cucumber's attention.

Add a fortune to your website or
blog, click

It's a little late to make resolutions but what the heck:

In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Become a modern-day Johnny Appleseed.

Get your resolution here.

ETA: aw, the website seems to be gone

Make your own masterpiece

Art Pad

I would post my drawing but I haven't artistic talent. Sigh

Edit: Fixed Link

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Can't you tell that that's a Marine Biologist?

I've spent to past few night playing isketch.

Just like pictionary

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Friday, April 15, 2005

Stay Golden

Yesterday I went to a S.E. Hinton book signing. I asked a question and got my copy of The Outsiders signed.


but I don't want to wear a mau mau

From personal experience I know that it is really hard for us bigger girls to find cute, trendy clothes that fit.

Here is a list of links for stores that sell plus size clothing

Also, some department stores don't have junior plus size available instore, but do on their website, so check out your favorite department stores' websites

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Crazy like Anne Heche

Are you crazy as Anne Heche?

Martha Steward Crazy
Congratulations! You scored 13!
Good for you! You're Martha Steward Crazy. You know when it's time to be normal and take your tests sober and when it's time to take risks like sliding on the ice completely naked on a whim or do insider trading. Keep that balance.

This test tracked 1 variable How the score compared to the other people's:

Higher than 22% on Loveprops
Link: The Crazy like Anne Heche Test written by bestactresscall on Ok Cupid

Monday, April 11, 2005


30-Second Bunnies Theatre

A couple new movies plust the old favorites

support our ribbons

Quotey quotey quote quotes

Since the age of 13 I've kept a small quote notebook. I write quotes from books or movies that I liked. The notebook is finally filled; 52 pages of quotey goodness! I thought I would share some of my favorites. Most are funny, because I love a good one-liner.

Warning: Since this was a private notebook so the proper rules of quotations and citations were ignored. There are misquotes galore!

These are some quotes I took down between the ages of 13 - 15 years old

I believe I've put forth a tiny soul-root in to this soil this afternoon. I hope so, I hate to feel transplanted - L. M. Montgomery, Anne of the Island

With a name like Atossa you would be sour. She should imagine her name was Cordelia - L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Avonlea

I consider him a reverend jackass - L. M. Montgomery, Anne's House of Dreams

One of them did tried to flirt with her once and she froze him out so bad, I feel sure he's never got himself thawed since - L. M. Montgomery, Anne's House of Dreams

If you want to speak to God, speak to the winds - African proverb quoted in my freshman Geography textbook

What is poetry? Who knows?
Not the rose, but the scent of the rose;
Not the sky, but the light in the sky;
Not the fly, but the gleam of the fly;
Not the sea, but the sound of the sea;
Not myself, but what makes me See, hear, and feel something that prose
Cannot: and what it is, who knows?
- Eleanor Farjeon quoted in my freshman year English textbook

The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one -Wilhelm Stekel, quoted by JD Salinger in Catcher in the Rye

The Lord might be busy helping somebody else, and it wouldn't look right for Him Just to drop that person and come help me - Ernest J. Gaines, The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman

He told not very black lies, seldom getting deeper than gray, and often the mildest of white fibs - Louisa May Alcott, Little Men

Do not seek to much fame, but do not seek obscurity
Be proud, but do not remind the world of you deeds
Excel when you must, but do not excel the world
Many heroes are not yet born, many have already died
To be alive to hear this song is a victory
- African proverb quoted in my Sophmore English textbook

I have such faith in his love that I believe I might kill him, and he wouldn't wish to retaliate - Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

Of course I rember the Civil War everything except the side I fought on - Ray Bradbury, Dandelion Wine

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Totally Japanese

The Stereotypical Japanese Test

Totally Japanese!
Congratulations! You scored 100!

You're Totally Japanese! You're more Japanese than the Japanese. You like the food, the history, the anime, the music and....the country. The only question I have for you is - are you American or are you really Japanese?!?!

This test tracked 1 variable How the score compared to the other people's:

Higher than 26% on ramenpoints
Link: The Stereotypical Japanese Test written by Oreganocheffer on Ok Cupid

Friday, April 8, 2005

The Pastor's Ass

A pastor wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune to be made in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. At the local auction, however, the going price for a horse was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead.

He figured since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races, and to his surprise, the donkey came in third. The next day the local paper carried this headline: Pastor's Ass Shows

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won! The local paper read: Pastor's Ass Out Front

The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper read: Bishop Scratches Pastor's Ass

The bishop was fit to be tied. He ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.The local paper, hearing the news, posted this headline the next day: Nun Has Best Ass in Town

The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for ten dollars. The next day, the paper read: Nun Sells Ass For $10.00

After the bishop was revived, he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: Nun Announces Her Ass Is Wild and Free

The bishop was buried the next day.

Guilty Pleasure: I Love That Hornblower

You may know or not know about the Horatio Hornblower movie series on A&E. Yeah, I like those more than is normal. But I can't help it. Hot men in funny hats, ya know.

So here is some pictures with funny captions

Probably won't mean anything to you if you haven't seen the movies

Monday, April 4, 2005

Love is....

books are love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

Great Resource For Stalking

Satilite pictures of anything you can imagine

pin up girl

The Which Pinup Girl Are You? Test

The All-American
You embody all the things those GI's are waiting to come back to! Your're sexy, adventureous, and confident.

This test tracked 1 variable How the score compared to the other people's:

Higher than 23% on Style
Link: The Which Pinup Girl Are You? Test written by emily_infini on Ok Cupid

Sunday, April 3, 2005

Royal Title Generator

The Lady Protector, Her Superior Piety, Empress LilyFair. The Exalted Vanquisher of Boredom


haha, not what you think

Saturday, April 2, 2005

Instant Religion Creator

Play mad libs with religious texts!

New Religion Creation
'New Age Text'

From the most energetic regions of the spiritual plane, I have channeled the disembodied spirit of Marlon Brando, bringing to you the wisdom and a romance novel of the lost city of Boise, Idaho. To usher in the New Age of Waves you must heed my words and fly interpidly. The time is soon when the space ships of our galactic cousins will return and our collective narrowness will reach critical mass. The highest frequencies of the universe will spiral through the intestene chakras of the worthy, and our 3rd mouth shall be opened. But first we must look deep inside and accept our inner hook for a hand. We must feel the inner hook for a hand, become the inner hook for a hand, chase it as though it was a stairs. We must accept our karmic past, and, as our yogi master, Ronald Reagen, always says 'The true form of NASA is actually a juicy apple pie , but enlightenment is like a honest clock on the wind'. For there is no right or wrong, no Demark or anti-Demark, only one great and omnipresent fog.

ETA: Broken link. The website seems to have disappared. :(


Bad Superman!

Make sure to look at the "Seduction of the Innocent" section in the Image Gallery. I was truly amazed at the many times the word "boner" came up, so to speak. And that wasn't the worst. Really. There's worse.

Romance Book Cover Comedy


This wonderful cover and others here

A Harmful Cheesebuger

Woman calls 911 over a wrongly made cheesebuger

English State Of Mind

Kebab shop owner.
I have deduced you have a 61% English mentality!
You are english in only part of your mind... i'd imagine you might do well as a exotic food outlet manager... but again i could be wrong.

This test tracked 1 variable How the score compared to the other people's:

Higher than 15% on Englishnature
Link: The English state of mind Test written by normski on Ok Cupid

The Are you Truly Banal Test

Ye Olde Standard
JumpinJeezissonapogostick! You scored 0!
You're a margin walker. You don't like to rock the boat. You may be kinky but you don't want anyone to know. You got good grades in school and fantasized about your 7th grade teacher. You decide some things for yourself but still insist on some name brands for the sake of seeming sane.

This test tracked 1 variable How the score compared to the other people's:

Higher than 80% on Banality ratio
Link: The Are you Truly Banal Test written by invizible on Ok Cupid
Best Places To Live Quiz

I got:
1 San Francisco, CA
2 Boston, MA
3 Los Angeles-Long Beach, CA
Save me from the pelicans
That coffee you made was good
The milk is going sour in the batcave
Teletubies are not for eating

An original poem by LilyFair

*beatnik snaps*

Friday, April 1, 2005

Astro Chart

My Chart:

Rising Sign is in 19 Degrees Scorpio
You tend to be quiet, reserved, secretive and, at times, quite difficult to understand. Exactly. Others notice your deep emotions and feelings and wonder how to draw you out. Stubborn and tough, you fight for any position you believe in. You are very resourceful and formidable when you become angered or upset about something. You enjoy living life at the cutting edge -- for you life must be experienced intensely and totally. Ha ha, no. Quite courageous, you are willing to take calculated risks Hell no!. Easily hurt by others, you often strike back with bitter sarcasm. Me? Sarcastic?. Sensitive and curious, you are concerned with the deeper mysteries of human psychology. Once you have become interested in any subject, you pursue it with total fanaticism. I'll accept that.

Sun is in 13 Degrees Leo.
More than a bit of a showoff, you love to be the center of attention! But others do not usually mind because they tend to enjoy your genuine warmth and affection. Very spirited and willful, proud and self-important at times, you demand your own way. You are quite honest, however, and the respect of others is very important to you. You never compromise yourself and you pursue your goals with persistence and dedication. Your regal presence and demeanor draws you to positions of leadership and authority. But beware of being overly hardheaded, domineering, ostentatious or patronizing or you will lose the goodwill and admiration that you enjoy. Very theatrical, you live life on a grand scale wherever and whenever possible. Your strength and energy vitalizes those who come in contact with you. I guess the stars don't care if I'm a social phobic.

Moon is in 23 Degrees Aquarius.
Very freedom-oriented, you must always be able to do what you wish, no matter what. You become stubborn and recalcitrant when others try to force you into a mold. You are a true democrat -- you are not a follower, but you enjoy being with those who are like-minded. You appreciate emotional self-control -- you practice it yourself and you look for it in others. You solve problems, including emotional ones, with your brains and intellect, not your feelings. Try to be tolerant of those who have powerful and obvious emotional responses -- not everyone is as objective, cool, dispassionate and detached as you are. True

Mercury is in 25 Degrees Leo.
You are usually quite convinced that your own ideas are correct and you enjoy persuading others that they are. At times, you are very stubborn and proud of your beliefs and principles, and you get very defensive when they are challenged. You appreciate truth and honesty -- you practice it yourself and expect it in others. You have good talent for organizing, directing and planning. You delight in being asked for your advice and counsel. No, don't ask me anything

Venus is in 19 Degrees Cancer.
You like to be very close to other people. So not true! You need emotional support yourself and are willing to give it to others. When you feel unloved and insecure, you can be very jealous and possessive. You are not interested in casual or superficial relationships -- only deep emotional involvements interest you. No, no, no. Your faithful devotion is one of your greatest gifts, but be careful not to become too dependent on others. Learn to stand on your own two feet and demand your own rights once in a while.

Mars is in 01 Degrees Scorpio.
Your likes and dislikes are strong and intense, never casual or superficial. You are known for your persistence and willful obsession. Once you have decided on a course of action, you are unstoppable. Your emotional actions tend to be extreme, although you try to keep them muted. You are not quick to anger, you do slow burns. And you tend to release your anger as sarcasm or irony. Beware of your tendency to hold grudges and to be vengeful. When you do fight, or release your internal tensions, you do so body and soul -- you become totally passionate and your outbursts are awesome to behold. Crying is involved. And throwing things.

Jupiter is in 02 Degrees Scorpio.
You love to dig deep beneath surface appearances in order to find out what is really happening. A persistent researcher, you are very interested in the psychology of any situation. You tend to become overwhelmed by the complexity of what you uncover, however, and that makes you a bit gun-shy about explaining things to others. But you must learn to try to communicate as best you can because what you know is really very valuable to others. I love explaining things to others. Makes me feel so smart.

Saturn is in 17 Degrees Libra.
Although you take quite a while to make decisions, you usually consider all sides to a question, all the pros and cons, and the solution you come up with is very often the correct one. You tend to be very reserved and shy, but, once you make a commitment to someone (in either a business or personal relationship), the partnership is forever. You have a strong sense of justice and fair play and greatly respect the laws and institutions by which you are governed. As such, you are outraged when others break laws or show contempt for authority. True

Uranus is in 00 Degrees Sagittarius.
You, and most of your peers, have the tendency to think that all ideas, customs and traditions from the past are outmoded and irrelevant. I like some traditions. You are attracted to radically new ideas, philosophies and religions that will, hopefully, cause sweeping changes throughout the world.

Neptune is in 24 Degrees Sagittarius.
You, and your entire generation, are heavily involved in investigating and idealizing foreign and exotic intellectual systems and religious philosophies. The most extreme ideals will be pursued with gusto. You will be at the forefront of humanitarian attempts to improve the lot of those who are in need of assistance. You will be comfortable with the concept of the "global village."

Pluto is in 24 Degrees Libra.
For your entire generation, this is a time of radical changes in society's attitude toward marriage and interpersonal relationships. There is a general fear and awe at the power inherent in making emotional or contractual commitments -- they will not be entered into lightly.

N. Node is in 13 Degrees Cancer.
You genuinely enjoy meeting other people, No! but you're at your best if you can do so from the comfort of your own home. You prefer others to come to you and tend to feel uncomfortable about leaving your home or neighborhood for any extended period of time. Those who do come in contact with you are struck by your caring and obliging nature -- you really make them feel at home. Quite the opposite, really. You form the closest ties, however, with members of your immediate family, especially your parents and children. My mommy is my best friend. You're at your best attending or organizing family reunions!

Name Statistics

----- is the #282 most common female name.
0.068% of females in the US are named -----.
Around 86700 US females are named -----!

------- is the #25742 most common last name.
0.0005% of last names in the US are -------.
Around 1250 US last names are -------

When was your name popular?

Name Voyager

My name peaked at 133 in the 1970's

God's Bad Breath

My grandma just recently got me a Bible. I suppose I haven't been covering my horns and hooves well lately. Anyway I don't plan on reading it anytime soon, but I have read The Skeptics Annotated Bible. It points out of the strange, funky, bad, and silly things in the Bible.

Favorite verse: We have a little sister and she hath no breasts...But my breast [are]like towers.
-Song of Solomon 8:8-10

That made a Honey Smack fly out of my nose.

Lets Tease Creationist. It's Fun!

Things Creationist Hate

Create Your Own Nation

Nationstates Pick a flag and motto, and make important decisions comcerning your nation

The Free Land of Benice, my country

profile pic

The picture in my profile is a x-ray image of a lily and was filched from Bert Myers Fine Art Photography

In case anyone was wondering, ya know

In the begining...

Nowaday it seems everyone and their momma has a blog and I want one too. Since nothing particularly interesting happens to me I'm going to fill my blog with funny, strange , gross, whatever stuff I come across on the internet. Yeah.