Get Your Monster Name

Forbidden Love

It was a dark and stormy night.
They were together in the house.
Just the two of them.
She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance…and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her from the storm.
She wanted that… more than anything.

Suddenly, the power went out… She screamed…
He raced to the sofa where she was cowering.
He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms.
He knew this was a forbidden union and expected her to pull back.
He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.
The storm raged on… as did their growing passion.
They knew it was wrong…
Their families would never understand…
So consumed were they in their passion that they didn't hear the door opening ...
...
...
...
Then the light went on ...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...

Internet Classic: Googlism

www.googlism.com

If you want to do it the old fashioned way, just put your name and the word is in quotes. Example "lilyfair is"

"Lily Fair is a dreamer and a dancer"

"Lily Fair is the dreamer of the group-- and her greatest dream
is to become a wonderful ballerina"

"Lily Fair is also available in the custom finished options listed below"

"LILY FAIR is easy" - Not true!

"Lily Fair is a very mild mannered lady" - That's better

"LILY FAIR, is a superb tale that demonstrates the magic"

"Lily Fair is much more ..."

"Lily Fair is exactly what I needed." - Glad to have helped

"Lily Fair is your best choice"

"Lily Fair is available for just $19.99 from Our website" - I'm worth much more than that!

"Lily Fair is available for just $130.98" - That's better

Fily Lair

Spoonerims!

Dirty Spoonerisms!

For those who don't know what a Spoonerism, here is an explanation from wikipedia:

A Spoonerism is a play on words in which corresponding consonants or vowels are switched, named after the Reverend William Archibald Spooner (1844–1930), Warden of New College, Oxford, who was notoriously prone to this tendency.

http://www.fabelbish.com/ - Create Spoonerisms!

Turn Your Hamster into...

A Fighting Machine!

Edit: new link

The Mystic Penis of Rasputin

Warning: Picture of pickled penis.

Warning #2: Men may suffer from feels of inadequacy after viewing

In a more innocent age, it was said that Gregory Efimovich Rasputin's legendary power over women was due to his piercing eyes.

But a new museum of erotica here suggests that the mad monk's charm may instead have been, ahem, concealed beneath his cassock.

ETA: An anonymous commenter pointed out that the mighty penis might be a sea cucumber. The Museum of Hoaxes as an article outlining the controversy

Not that I thought is was real anyway. Pshaw!

Misinterpreted Movie Titles

What happens when you strip away a movie's title and replace it with a literal description of what its movie poster looks like?

Stupid White Folks Bingo

Hehe

Snowglobe

Give it a shake

My Hebrew Name

http://www.my-hebrew-name.com

Christmas Kitties

Tree Decorating With Cats



Lol at typos! Before I backspaced this post said "Christmas Titties: Tree Decorating With Cate." That would have been an interesting post.

Odd Couples

Lets Be Friends - Pictures of animal friends

Chakra Test

http://www.eclecticenergies.com/chakras/chakratest.php

My results:


Root: under-active (-38%)
The Root chakra is about being physically there and feeling at home in situations. If you tend to be fearful or nervous, your Root chakra is probably under-active. You'd easily feel unwelcome.

Sacral: under-active (-38%)
The Sacral chakra is about feeling and sexuality. If you tend to be stiff and unemotional or have a "poker face," the Sacral chakra is under-active. You're not very open to people.

Navel: under-active (-50%)
The Navel chakra is about asserting yourself in a group. When the Navel chakra is under-active, you tend to be passive and indecisive. You're probably timid and don't get what you want.

Heart: under-active (-44%)
The Heart chakra is about love, kindness and affection. When your Heart chakra is under-active, you are cold and distant.

Throat: under-active (-63%)
The Throat chakra is about self-expression and talking. When this chakra is under-active, you tend not to speak much, and you probably are introverted and shy. Not speaking the truth may block this chakra.

Third Eye: open (-6%)
The Third Eye chakra is about insight and visualisation. When it is open, you have a good intuition. You may tend to fantasize.

Crown: under-active (-44%)
The Crown chakra is about wisdom and being one with the world. If it is under-active, you're not very aware of spirituality. You're probably quite rigid in your thinking.

Which Classical Composer Are You?

I am: Ludwig van Beethoven

Bizarre and eccentric, he considered himself a supremely great genius, and was not mistaken. He turned music upside-down and blew all the powdered wigs out of the concert hall, even though he was deaf.

The Scratch Pad - draw with a group of people!

The Gothic Fairy Store - I did some Christmas shopping here.

Sexy Name Decoder

http://sexy.namedecoder.com

Did you hear about the man who walked into a bar, sat on a stool and put a foot locker on the bar. He opened it up and set a small piano on the bar. Then a little man got out of the footlocker, sat down at the piano and started playing beautiful classical music. The bartender said 'Wow, where did you find him'? The man reached into the footlocker, pulled out a lamp and said 'I found this on the beach, rubbed it and a genie popped out'. The bartender grabbed it, started rubbing it and said 'I want a million bucks'. The man said 'Wait, there's something I have to tell you'. But it was too late. Ducks started appearing everywhere. They filled the bar, ran out into the street and filled the entire city. The bartender said 'What in the world is going on here'? The man said 'I tried to tell you but you wouldn't listen. The genie is hard of hearing. Do you really think I asked for a twelve inch pianist'?

http://www.patheticpersonals.com/ - Funny and bad personals

Reminds me of a pathetic response I received from my OkCupid profile. Ha! A friend received the same thing. The guy must have been spamming girls that live in Southern California or something.



ETA: I've remembered that the same guy IM'ed me also! He couldn't spell and called me baby. I blocked him.

My Chinese Name

Surname (first character): Feng

Given Name (middle character): Lui - willow tree; pleasure

Given Name (last character): liu - sparkling stone; glazed

Making me Feng Luiliu


Get Your Chinese Name

Are You a Yankee or a Rebel?

What does your speech say about you?

I got: 50% (Yankee). Barely in the Yankee category.

Beautiful Faces Test

Keira Knightley 67% Eyes, 28% Nose, 45% Mouth, 40% SexyCute

You seem to enjoy big eyes, small other features, and a sexy demeanor. I actually skewed Keira toward cute in the test, due to the specific pic, but generally she's pretty sexy indeed. Big eyes, small nose, smallish lips. Keira is hot. Hot, hot hot. Which is probably why she's been in about sixty movies in the past year. Similar: Natalie Portman (cuter), Denise Richards (bigger lips) If you liked my test, please remember to give it a decent score, and of course I'm always happy to hear feedback. Thanks! Also, you could check out my Your Type of Girl Test.

This test tracked 4 variables. How the score compared to the other people's: Higher than 80% on Eyes Higher than 12% on Nose Higher than 33% on Lips Higher than 19% on SexyCute

Link: The Beautiful Faces Test written by dgc20e on Ok Cupid