More Cat Haikus

The food in my bowl
is old, and more to the point
contains no tuna.

Cat goes in bathroom.
Drags out feminine products.
Guests are horrified.

Tabby attitude.
So aloof and so wily.
Taste like baked chicken.

So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankle's closer.

There's no dignity
in being sick - which is why
I don't tell you where.

Seeking solitude
I am locked in the closet.
For once I need you.

Tiny can, dumped in
plastic bowl. Presentation,
one star; service: none.

Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backwards:
this pillow's taken.

Your mouth is moving;
up and down, emitting noise.
I've lost interest.

The dog wags his tail,
seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.

My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?

My affection is
conditional. Don't stand up;
it's your lap I love.

So you call this thing
your "cat carrier." I call
these my "blades of death."

Toy mice, dancing yarn
meowing sounds. I'm convinced:
you're an idiot.